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I SAW TOKIO HOTEL!!!!!!!!! (and i feel like that should be bigger)
HOLY FUCK NO REALLY I DID I WENT TO AN ARGENTINEAN RESTAURANT CALLED 1810 IN PASADENA AND AS I'M WALKING TOWARDS IT I SEE A GUY IN A BEANIE WHO LOOKS LIKE A TOTALLY HIPSTER, MAYBE KINDA DOUCHY, AND I THOUGHT "ONLY EURPEAN MODELS HAVE AN EXCUSE TO WEAR THOSE, IN THE US YOU JUST DON'T" AND THEN AS I GOT CLOSER I THOUGHT "THAT LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE BILL," THEN I LOOKED AT THE GUY SITING NEXT TO HIM AND WAS LIEK
HOLY SHIT THAT'S TOM AND THIS IS BILL!!! AND THE CHICK SITTING ACROSS FROM BILL WAS TOM'S GF (RITA SOMMERFIEL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
so yeah, now i'm out of breath!
Days 2941-71: The End
This took several days to write, hence the title The first time I wanted to kill myself was Feb 19, 2009. I remember standing on the 3rd floor outdoor patio of a hospital, wondering where the best place to jump would be. I realized that the only place I could land was the outdoor patio on the second floor, and that aside from it not being a huge distance, the trees and umbrellas would likely break my fall, and being that I was already at a hospital, well my chances of dying were pretty slim; so I didn't do it. It would be over a year before I started seriously considering it again. In that time, I enjoyed being one of the most popular kids in my 8th grade class for the remainder of the school year, then it all started going downhill. I went to Mexico that summer, where I snuck drinks of as much tequila and mezcal as I could because it was the only distraction I could find to keep me together. When I came back I started high school and didn't know anyone. Not knowing people was never a
Day 2849: Regression
So lately...past few months I guess, I've been dong stuff I haven't done in a while. Yes, dA is one of those things, I mean it's been almost a year since my last journal...but also listening to emo bands I haven't heard in like 4 years, thinking about writing again, rereading old poems and messages to ppl I don't talk to anymore, playing music, and buying old video games on amazon that I wanted to play when I was little but didn't...it all sounds very nostalgic but it isn't. I've felt nostalgic before, it doesn't last months and it tends to bring joy when I do something I used to do...but this doesn't. It feels like I'm doing these things bec
Day 2522: My time of the (bi)month
So I basically wrote this journal in the description to the above new poem.
I'm doing a lot better, with my mental health, with my ex. I can definitely trace it back to November when I got a lot of closure by realizing yet again but in a somehow more definitive way that I'll never get closure but that's ok because it really doesn't matter. since then, I've had a handful of nights where I can't sleep because I was thinking about her, and 2 days, feb 14 and another day a couple weeks ago where I had some severe mental episodes, one obviously caused by her indirectly (i wasn't really thinking about her but it was valentine's day) and the othe
Day 2457: doppelganger
So I've been totally lacking motivation to do anything and pretty much all emotions the past couple weeks. at least I've been less "I want to die," and more "what's the point of staying alive? I already feel dead." I skipped all my classes last week and avoided everyone I could. Then yesterday I made myself go to class because midterms are here and I didn't know when it was for my morning math class. I got out of class and saw the last person I expected to see, Iva, my ex...at least, it looked EXACTLY like her. Some guy had just come up to talk to her so she didn't notice me but I walked around her slowly and probably had my mouth opening as
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OMG I'm from Argentina and I feel so ajfvburfkjtbo *----*