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About Literature / Hobbyist Chris22/Male/United States Group :iconshadowpoetry: ShadowPoetry
For the darker side of poetry
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Literature
Beyond Light and Sound
I thought you were distant,
But maybe it's me.
I feel like a veil has been dropped around me,
A shadow that separates me from the world.
You're distant,
               if I traveled at the speed of light I'd never reach you
                                                   But only because that's how far off I am
Your words are indiscernible echos now,
                                       they sound like an alien melody
                                                  in my insanity I give them a beat.
I feel like I was buried alive
And my memories and thoughts are bouncing off the walls around
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 1 2
Mature content
Whiplash :icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 0 0
Mature content
An Attempt At Relief :icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 0 0
Literature
Come Back
Do I want you to come back?
I don't know,
I don't think I know what I want.
I love you, I think...
Sometimes I don't think I feel at all
And it's just the echo of my last emotion that's left.
If you came back, I don't know if I'd love you or hate you,
I'm assuming I'd care, but don't know if I'd feel anything towards you,
Perhaps I'd feel everything.
But who knows? I've felt everything for so long that my emotions are exhausted.
I no longer feel the burden of a broken heart because
I got used to it,
The knots in my stomach are normal now
And the headache is easy to ignore as long as I'm drunk.
You made me hate you;
And I renewed that hate every time I thought about how much I loved you.
But I'm tired of hating you,
Tired of loving you,
Tired of anything having to do with you.
So if you came back,
Maybe I wouldn't care,
Or maybe I'd start to care again.
I guess I'll never know
Because I know you're never coming back.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 2 0
Literature
Satellite
It's the same thing over again:
I think I'm over you
Then you crawl back into my thoughts,
Like I'm tied to a chair forced to watch the same movie over and over again.
I can't escape you,
I can't drown you in alcohol or burn you with weed,
I can't silence you with my screams,
I can't love while you own my heart,
I can't live while you own my life;
I can leave you, but I can't leave your orbit.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 2 0
Literature
High
I'm high again
On the rain and the depression,
On the music and the emotions it stirs,
On the cold and and the ticking of the clock,
On the light slowly fading as the sun sets, reminding me that I'm that much closer to my death.
I'm high again
On the stress and the churning in my stomach,
On the feeling of being tired but not sleepy,
On the freedom and wonder of the empty that I see from the confines of my desk.
I'm high again
And I feel my heart and hopes sinking
Deeper into that pit in my stomach,
The drain everything I am has gone down.
I'm high again
On the awareness that I'm slowly imploding.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 3 0
Mature content
I said goodbye, and you say... :icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 0 1
Literature
I'm just one of those people
I guess I'm just one of those people,
The kind that trusts people
That loves people
That is able to eventually let down his guard.
I guess I couldn't have known better,
And now  I'm left with this endless pit of black ink
That I can throw on the page and
Let the letters fall where they may,
It's always the same thing:
The same pain and suffering
Just in various tempos.
You, my everything,
Left me with nothing.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 8 0
Literature
Hopeless Devotion
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
I can't stop thinking about you
And I know that I'd still do anything for you.
Only you could have broken me like this,
Because you're the only one I ever loved this much.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 4 2
Mature content
Your love is a wasteland :icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 1 0
Mature content
How I lost my virginity :icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 1 0
Literature
Demon: Prologue
Fear. It was an emotion I wasn't familiar with. It was how I quickly and easily rose to be one of the best agents in the history of the FBI, and when I finally got tired of the office politics and homicidal, cult leading maniacs, how I became the best detective in the LAPD. I suppose I always knew of the possibility of monsters, I grew up in a haunted house after all. but it wasn't until the day I saw two werewolves cross the street a few blocks away from my home that I truly became acquainted with fear.
Since then I've looked for, and found, numerous "monsters:" werewolves, vampires, ghosts, shape-shifters, demons... the list goes on. My first true battle with a supernatural entity was the scariest, it was against a demons. The following is my personal account of the 15 year old case of the Shadow Killer, a serial killer with victims all across LA and Orange counties, along with a few murders in Riverside county, and one in San Bernardino county.
The details regarding the case are goi
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 0 1
Literature
You and I (Red)
I remember it so clearly,
That day you left me under the ice.
I watched you dance above, dancing on my grave;
You took me to a place where I was happy, and made it into my tomb.
The ice melted, my corpse drifted in the river until it was reanimated
Under the Japanese maple tree.
All I saw was red
And it encapsulated everything I felt:
The way I hated you,
The way I still loved you,
The blood that flowed out of my body under that ice...
How ironic that it's your favorite colour that now represents me best,
That your failed attempt to kill me because of our differences made us more alike
Yet now that we are alike, we will never be together.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 3 0
Literature
Thoughts of suicide
I'm pushing all my friends away,
They say it's a sign of suicide.
I'm considering who will get my things
They say those are thoughts of suicide.
Everyday is the anniversary of something in a life that's over now,
I live in the past more than in the present
And that can be cause for suicide.
My birthday is 2 weeks away,
And for a while I've been wondering if I even want to reach it.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 1 2
Literature
empty
Maybe I wish I could die,
Maybe I am dead.
I feel so empty all the time;
I forgot what happiness feels like
And nothing makes me sad anymore,
I’ve just finished feeling.
I don’t know what’s driving me to keep going,
I don’t know why I keep waking up and insisting on breathing,
I don’t know anything anymore, I don’t feel anything anymore,
I don’t feel like I exist anymore.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 2 0
Literature
Sagittarius
We're the archers
Shooting for the sky, shooting towards Jupiter,
Constantly seeking adventure.
We're evil geniuses who wouldn't harm a fly.
We're quiet unless we really like you,
Our shyness hides a roaring fire,
Our emotions run deep yet we hide them so well,
When we fall in love, we fall hard,
And it takes everything we have to move on.
:icontheShadowGrove:theShadowGrove
:icontheshadowgrove:theShadowGrove 3 3
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I thought you were distant,
But maybe it's me.

I feel like a veil has been dropped around me,
A shadow that separates me from the world.
You're distant,
               if I traveled at the speed of light I'd never reach you
                                                   But only because that's how far off I am
Your words are indiscernible echos now,
                                       they sound like an alien melody
                                                  in my insanity I give them a beat.
I feel like I was buried alive
And my memories and thoughts are bouncing off the walls around me
Ricocheting until I forget what's real.

Maybe I'm crazy,
Maybe it was crazy to fall in love with you
But even if I knew that then, there's no way I could have stopped myself,
You were perfect.

Did you ruin it? Did I?
I'll never know, and it probably doesn't matter;
This has gone beyond fault and blame,
Beyond being able to decide on how to feel about you or anything.
I'm beyond saving, confined to the tomb of our creation, the grave I started digging when I first said "I love you,"
A place where neither light nor sound can reach.
Beyond Light and Sound
I really like this piece. listened to the new Lindsey Stirling while writing (just the slow instrumental songs) which I haven't listened to in a while. I'm more depressed on paper than in real life, fyi, and I guess this is more the lamentation of the ideal, Romantic love than of my ex. don't get me wrong, I still love her and miss her every day; why, who knows? Every time I think I'm finally about to move on, I don't for some reason and I'm back to being depressed. 
Loading...

The night is when, the ghosts all come out
Playing with my head, spin it all around
This room is like a prison cell, I'm all by myself
I'm waiting for my friend to come and break me out

You left me today lying on the floor
I wanted you to stay, it seems you wanted it more
This bed is like a prison cell, cause I'm all by myself
Still waiting for my friend to come and break me out

And there's stone cold bars on my door for this stone cold heart

Some people say life is like a ride
Take it day by day, never knowing why
My head is like a prison cell, I'm all by myself
I'm waiting for my friend to come and break me out
Still waiting for my friend to come and break me out

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No matter who I look at, I see you.
No matter who I'm with, I'm thinking of you.
No matter how much time has passed, I can't forget you.
No matter how hard I try, I can't move on from you.

To say that I'd do anything for you,
Even if I found a way to move the earth and stars for you, it wouldn't be enough.
I could buy you all the private islands, beach houses, and cars in the world,
I could get your favorite bands to play shows just for you
And write you a hundred love poems a day,
It wouldn't be enough;
You decided on a whim that you no longer loved me
And I've been suffering with whiplash wondering what I did wrong.
If nothing I do is right, then maybe existing is what I did wrong.
Whiplash
So this got darker than I thought it would, got stuck after the first few lines, did a thing with couplets for a bit but it went from bad to worse so i deleted and took it in a different direction.
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Month

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Our lips meet,
But we don't feel hunger, we feel fear.
We undress each other,
But we're not excited, we're nervous.
Our bodies interlock,
But not out of want, out of need;
The need to heal.
We've been so hurt by those we loved,
Broken, just starting to pick up the pieces before shattering again countless times.
We don't know what to do, so we do each other.

It's not that I don't think you're beautiful,
It's just that I can't stop thinking about another.
I know you feel the same.

We use each other to forget the others
To feel wanted again
Needed again
Whole
An Attempt At Relief
(I kept rethinking this description and ended up making it a poem)
Loading...
I've felt everything for so long that my emotions are exhausted.
I no longer feel the burden of a broken heart because
I got used to it,
The knots in my stomach or normal now
And the headache is easy to ignore as long as I'm drunk.

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theShadowGrove
Chris
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
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Myers Briggs Type Indicator: INTP about 1% of the population!
Enneagram type 3 (it's changed a few times somehow, it was 3 first, than 5, then 6) (and it also said I was mentally unstable...)
Color Code: Blue
Sagittarius
Year of the Dog
Hopeless Romantic
Not gay, contrary to popular belief! (although occasionally bi if you play your cards right =p long story)
Languages: English and Spanish: fluent
French, Portuguese, Italian, and German: beginner
Competitive
I have plans for world domination
I'll use words to get out of a fight, but can kick ass if I have too (and that fact makes me so happy!)

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Concerts (of major bands) I've been to (in chronological order):
HONDA CIVIC tour [@ universal amphitheater]: mxpx, good Charlotte, new found glory
GREEN DAY (american idiot tour)[@ the home depot center]: Jimmy eat world, Green day
THE CULT (promo/reunion tour before born into this)[@ the grove of Anaheim]: the cult
DEPECHE MODE (tour of the universe) [@ Hollywood bowl]: peter, bjorn and john, depeche mode
KALIMBA [@ Fair of Duango]
DAVID GARRETT (us debut)[@ the el rey]: David Garrett
THE BANGLES (special one time deal)[@ my school!!!]: misc. local indie bands, the bangles
DAVID GARRETT (us debut...again)[@ the grove of Anaheim]: David Garrett
30 SECONDS TO MARS (into the wild)[@ the Greek]: street drum corps, neon trees, shiny toy guns, 30stm
MUSE(the resistance tour)[@ staples center]: passion pit, muse
DAVID GARRETT (rock symphonies tour)[@ the Wilshire ebell]: David Garrett
30 SECONDS TO MARS (closer to the edge)[@ Gibson amphitheater]: Frontline brigade, 30stm
PRINCE (welcome 2 america [?] tour)[@ the forum]: chaka khan, sheila e, prince (with opening acts again and other misc. artists)
ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN[@ club Nokia]: misc. indie bands, echo and the bunnymen
DURAN DURAN (all you need is now)[@ Nokia theater]: neon trees, Duran Duran
THE CURE (reflections)[@ Pantages theater]: the cure
DAVID GARRETT(rock symphonies II)[@ club nokia]: David Garrett
SHINY TOY GUNS (promo)[@ Santa Anita race track]: Omar khan and other misc. KROQ DJs, Shiny Toy Guns
REVENTON2012[@ staples center]: Julietta Venegas, Kinky, Mikel Erentxun, Beto Cuevas, Moderatto, Cafe Tacuba, Hombres G, Los Enanitos Verdes
LINDSEY STIRLING (lindsey stirling)[@ the Roxy]: George Sarah and string ensemble, Von Grey, The Vibrant Sound, Lindsey Stirling
MUSE (The 2nd Law)[@ staples center]: band of skulls, Muse
SOUND CITY PLAYERS[Jimmy Kimmel Live]: Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Cheap Trick, John Fogerty, Bruce Springsteen, Lee Ving
LINDSEY STIRLING(Lindsey Stirling)[@ The Fonda]: The Vibrant Sound, Lindsey Stirling
30 SECONDS TO MARS(Love, Lust, Faith+Dreams)[@ first Unitarian universalist church of Los Angeles]: 30stm
PLACIDO DOMINGO(Zarzuela and Latin American music)[@ the Dorthy Cahndler] Placido Domingo with a bunch of opera singers I don't feel like looking up (but they were amazing don't get me wrong) and Pepe Aguilar
REVENTON 2013 [@ STAPLES CENTER] Los Amantes de Lola, Jorge Gonzalez, Miguel Mateos, Zoé, Nek, Los Angeles Azules, Molotov, Hombres G, El Tri
THE CULT(Electrc '13)[@ The Wiltern]: The Cult
DEPECHE MODE(Delta Machine)[@ Sleep Train Amphitheatre]: Crystal Castles, Depeche Mode
PAUL MCCARTNEY(New)[Hollywood Blvd for Jimmy Kimmel Live]: Paul McCartney
DEPECHE MODE(Delta Machine)[@ Staples Center]: Crystal Castles, Depeche Mode
THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS(Love Lust Faith+Dreams)[@ The Hollywood Bowl]: New Politics, Panic! at the Disco, 30stm
MOTLEY CRUE(Farewell tour)[@ Hollywood Bowl]: Alic Cooper, Motley Crue
PAUL MCCARTNEY (New)[@ Dodger Stadium]: Paul McCartney
SOUNDGARDEN and NINE INCH NAILS (King Animal and Hesitation Marks)[@ Verizon Ampitheather]: SoundGarden, Nine Inch Nails
U2 (Innocence and Experience tour)[@ the Forum]: U2
DEAD SARA (Pleasure to Meet You)[@ the Glass House]: Dekades, Lost in Society, Dead Sara
LINDSEY STIRLING (Shatter Me)[@ the Greek]: Olivia Somerlyn, Lights, Lindsey Stirling
DURAN DURAN (Paper Gods)[@ the Hollywood Bowl]:Clean Bandit, Chic with Nile Rodgers, Duran Duran
DEAD SARA (Pleasure to Meet You)[@ Bloomingdale's]: Dead Sara
THE CULT [@ the Palladium]: Primal Scream, The Cult
THE CURE [@ the Hollywood Bowl]: The Twilight Sad, The Cure
BLONDIE [@ LA county Fair]: Blondie
NENA [@ the Regent]: Rebel and a Basketcase, ADAMEVA, Nena
KROQ'S ALMOST ACOUSTIC CHRISTMAS [@ the Forum]: The Head and the Heart, Bishop Briggs, Phantogram, Andrew McMahon and the Wilderness, Bastille, Weezer, Beck, Green Day


OTHER BIG MUSICAL STUFFS I'VE BEEN TO (school musicals not counted):
THE SUMMIT (this is war album)[@ the avalon (formerly the palace)]: recorded background vocals and drums for the album
THIS IS WAR ALBUM PREVIEW+first view of "the ride" (kings and queens music video)+Q&A [@ the monteblanc]
30STM ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE+ALBUM SIGNING[@ the hive]
SIMONE BOCANEGRA (opera)[@ the Dorthy Chandler]
AMERICAN IDIOT MUSICAL [@ Ahmanson theater]
BILLY ELLIOTT [@ the pantages]
FILMING OF CALIFORNICATION SEASON FINALE [@ the greek] Misc opening band made up of crew members doing a soundcheck, Tim Minchin, Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols Atticus Fetch (the character Tim Minchin plays) Marilyn Manson!!! Atticus Fetch again (it's called the two headed monster tour on the show, Fetch and Manson) and comedian Shane Mauss came on every once in a while too
THE ADDAMS FAMILY [@ Segerstrom Center for the Arts]
METALLICA: THROUGH THE NEVER [@ TLC Chinese Theater]
CARMEN [@ the Dorothy Chandler]
LA TRAVIATA [@ the Dorothy Chandler]
THE BARBER OF SEVILLE [@ the Dorothy Chandler]
GIANNI SCHICCHI/PAGLIACI [@ the Dorothy Chandler]
MACBETH [@ the Dorothy Chandler]
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS [@ the hollywood bowl]
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Interests
  • Listening to: Laura Pausini's medleys
And if it was cowardice,
All this melancholy
that invades me every night

and if it was just jealousy
that make me see a thousand things
that only exist in my mind

and if it was emotions
all these sensations of
frustration and craziness in me

when I read your thoughts and
I don't find that sentiment
I understand that you're no longer mine

and if it was my poems
written to remind you
of the moments when you were mine
and if it was an illusion
all this damned passion
that for an instant took me so far
____________________________

Today I thought about you again
it's been centuries since we've talked
it just happened again

I never called anyone else "my love,"
no one
And since then I've never found anyone
like you
like me, on the inside

I'd be lying
If I said I haven't tried to be with others
But I'm always looking for you

I waited
I had erased you from me
I had freed myself

Today I thought about you again,
it's happening again
______________________________________

I've changed my number
I've changed my friends and the places I'd hang out
To run away from a life
Where I was with you

______

talk to me, don't make me wait any longer
tell me if I've lost you or maybe not

In my hands, in my head, in my muscles
my emotions are beating intensely for you

talk to me, please don't destroy me more like i did with you
And tell me if it's over or maybe not
In my suffering there's a gust of wind that screams immense love
I need you to return to me

I'm confident that you, someday
will find that love again

you'll find it in me

talk to me, have I lost you or maybe not
_____________

I'm starting to realize
I shouldn't have shown the enthusiasm
present in the both of us
When you stopped

If it was worth it or not, I don't know
I'm inclined to say no
to you who never gave
you who only gave an impression

the sacrifice is singular

never, not even once
did you really try
I was following a tomorrow that no longer is

in the end what was the point?
tel me, in this story
what would be my benefits
if I saved in my memory
that the sacrifice was singular

Journal History

Comments


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:iconadananian:
Adananian Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank ya fur da :llama:
Reply
:iconjtcphoenix:
JTCPhoenix Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the favorite. I really appreciate it. I hope you'll take the time to check out some of my other pieces and if you like them consider giving me a watch. I'll be sure to return the favor! Thanks again.
Reply
:iconelextrified:
elextrified Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Hi Chris! Thanks so much for the fave on Extinguished Love! Your support is extremely appreciated :heart: :happybounce: 
Reply
:iconjtcphoenix:
JTCPhoenix Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
excuse me. How do you do write the link to your piece in your comment. I've tried to google it. and I've tried to ask someone before but I can't figure it out.
Reply
:iconelextrified:
elextrified Featured By Owner Edited Feb 19, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Oh dear so sorry for the late reply! So (on desktop) you click on "Add Media" at the bottom of your comment box and then highlight the text in which you want to add a link. At the top of the page there is some stuff to edit your text, and one button says "Link". Click on that and copy and paste the link into the url section. Press ok and that should work. Lemme know if it works :) :D
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